Simple Living

This post is inspired in part by another blog that did quite a job of dogging me and my choices. Thank you.


What does Voluntary Simplicity mean to me? Apparently it means sitting here with my jacket on instead of cranking up the heat. Cutting my own firewood instead of stopping for that $10 stack. It means doing the best i can with what I have. Being thankful for what i have and no longer buying into the consumer society myth; that i will be happy in the future when i have some of this, more of that, look like a super model, drive a Mercedes and have three million in the bank. This day is all we have, tomorrow is uncertain. And this day I am thankful that i was here to get my children off to school. That I have been blessed with work that today will entail walking to to the post office, maybe with a friend. I will water the garden, our food to be, surrounded by trees and truly hear the birds.

Voluntary Simplicity does not mean being broke. It means having respect for money. Having respect for yourself and the earth. All things come at a cost. The cost is not just the price tag. The true cost is time spent working to pay for an item, obtain an item, care for an item, be responsible for an item, worry about an item, get rid of an item. The cost is the resources that we are taking from the earth to create the stuff, package the stuff, transport the stuff and dispose of the stuff. When I walk into a store I see landfills and clutter, toxic chemicals. I see people working low wage jobs to slave away making junk, striving for a better life. I see the true cost, from start to 'finish', like a misty haze covering everything in the store. I am no fun to go shopping with.

Simple Living is conscious choices. Choosing how to spend your time and money. And sometimes the choices are hard. Like last week when I said no to my children for what would have been almost $40 for books that are being printed up and 'published' at school. They get a 'free' copy and additional copies were being pushed like candy. I disagree with this on so many levels and yet I don't want to be a drag to my children. I struggled with it in bed at night and in the morning knew i had to be true to what I believe. That these books and certainly additional copies of them fell completely into the want and not need category.The misty haze of depleted resources and pollution as well as the knowledge that $40 here and there and there and then I need to start worrying about money cause I've spent it all. Our house is in part decorated with fabulous art my children have made for free with items we have laying around. Now I have to buy my children's art from their school? No, I don't. I have a choice.

Simple Living is about cutting out the excess, the clutter, the background noise so that you can figure out and focus on, what is really important to you. And yes you can live simply while having a 'regular' job. I have friends that do it. Its what you choose to do with the time you truly own. What you bring into your house and life. The mindful way you strive to go about your days. The peace you find in simple things. The appreciation you learn for the everyday, for the magic moments that are always happening when you learn to pay attention.

One of the many criticisms on the money blogs reader comments, was that my life was being "bankrolled" by my ex husband. Huh. With almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce there are many divorced women (and men) out there receiving financial support.. I worked as a social director in a retirement community when we married. And for most of our marriage i had a small antique business going on the side. When we decided to have children, we decided I would stay home. And at that time we did discuss the what ifs of divorce because I was giving up my career. We both wanted me to be home with the children and so it was a given that financial support would be there should we divorce. And so it is, though I would hardly term it bankrolled. If we lived a more extravagant life I would certainly need to go out and get a more regular job. And when we first separated I worked six days a week caring for a dying friend, fortunate that my children could be there. And I put that money away like the house was on fire. I had no set support from my ex for a year and a half. He gave me $600 a month that he could have and threatened to, jerk away at any moment. I ate my children's left overs, quietly and gratefully in the kitchen after dinner. Our total income that year was $30,000. I put $15,000 in the bank. And most importantly my children had their mother and I was no longer in a sucktacular marriage that was hurting all of us. I was regaining my health and the desire to live. We had a beautiful year. We didn't feel deprived. I soul searched and cried in the shower. We played outside and made new friends. And I began figuring out who I was and who i wanted to be. Like i read on a magnet the other day, 'Life is not about finding yourself, its about creating yourself'. So now I get set financial support. Is that wrong? No. Because we live simply, because of the choices i make its enough. As property manager we no longer pay rent. As resident handy-lady I get paid. Im working on a starting a small home business with a friend. One night at dinner not long ago my daughter looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "Mom, I love the way you always have time for me. You're always there for me." Dude. I could buy a house, clothes or stuff but somethings are more valuable to me and its funny how they aren't things. We do put money away every month. We do have an emergency fund. I bought my health insurance for $1500 this year. My children are on their fathers insurance, just like they always were. My goals are not financially driven although i am financially smart. If I lived my life in pursuit of money one day i would wake up quite distraught because the life i want to live is about love and happiness, learning and laughter, family, friends and community. I am a nature freak, I want to be outside. I think about my grandmother. She never had a million dollars in her bank account. But as she is dying (in the home where she lived with her youngest daughter and family) she is surrounded by the family, and friendships she nurtured. She is cradled by love, not a bed of money.

As for the future and the blog writers observation that my ex's financial support will not last forever, very true. But neither will my children's childhood. So right here, right now I want to be available for my children. It was the plan from the beginning. I'm smart, savvy, and hardworking. I'm learning skills now that will help me down the road. I'm putting money away now that will cushion me later. I'm learning to live happily on less now. Just imagine what i can do later. I'm just getting started.

May we all find peace and love in our choices.